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Feb. 8th, 2009

I'm a Pepper

I never thought Shakespeare could be misunderstood ...

I have the insatiable need to clear some things up about Taylor Swift's new tear-jerker hit, "Love Story".  I just can't help myself.  The first line ... just the first line, "We were both young when I first saw you [...]" is wrong.  She goes from collective to singular in nine words.  But I'm a grammatically forgiving individual ... if only that was her only trespass.

The song goes on to depict Romeo throwing pebbles, at what - well, wouldn't we all like to know - we're assuming is a window because that's just the kind of heart-fluttering thing Ms. Swift would find alluring.  And then onwards to how this illicit affair between Romeo and Juliet begins to evolve.  They're planning to run away, see?  But Juliet is left waiting for what we're assuming is weeks - which converts into teenage centuries - since the poor girl is left to wonder if it's all in her head.  Because she's read He's Just Not That Into You.  She has her suspicions.

But that's all cleared up since they meet on the outskirts of town and he kneels down to pull out a ring - (harmonious "awww") - and say that he chatted up her old man, that she should immediately invest in a ceremonial attire and that he loves her ... and that's all he really knows.  That's all he knows.  I mean, he's been plotting this for weeks - which converts into teenage centuries - but all he really knows is that he lurvs her.

By the way, Romeo and Juliet die.  I know, I've read the book.  I'm assuming Ms. Swift hasn't.

Oct. 29th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

I don't mean to offend but ...

At our designated lunch hour, my peers and I congregate to the large food court on the first floor of the Bell Canada building to you know ... eat.

Today, Mrs. Professional unwraps herself a pork sandwich, looks over to Ms. Euro and says, "Oh, I hope you don't mind - I'm not sure if you're Muslim or not."  You know ... because of the pork sandwich.

Now, Ms. Euro incredulously replies, "Why would you assume I were Muslim?"

Pardon me for interjecting: BECAUSE YOU'RE BROWN.  I didn't say that, I shut up and ate my tortellini and watched the ensuing catastrophe that was supposed to have been my lunch break.  Mrs. Pro wasn't trying to be a dick.  It was an innocent comment regarding her fucking sandwich.  Her fucking sandwich made of pork, ok?  It had very little to do with being prejudice and a lot more to do with assumptions and as unfortunate as assumptions may be there is a large margin of seriousness between it and fucking prejudice.  Can we make that clear to all you visible minorities (myself included)?

I might be blessed with a bi-polarity towards this issue (being white and non-white at the same time) but I think I'm taking it all in stride.  Bell Canada is a box of walking stereotypes.  A gargantuan black man came up to me yesterday and dared to say, "Ni hao" - yes, that's right, FUCKING NI HAO; I haven't met one single person who hasn't asked me "What are you?" and "Do you speak Chinese/Japanese/Vietnamese/Korean? [note: THEY CAN'T EVEN TELL WHICH I AM] Why not?" and you know what?  I'm not making a huge fucking deal out of it.

Because unlike some people who have been living under a social rock, I've learnt that people don't know what they can't see and that's the principle the world was built on.  I'm very aware of appearances and their polar opposite called reality - I've taken classes on this shit - but everyone on this fucking earth has been swayed by the way things look.  Everyone.

So in this context, to Mrs. Pro's initial line of questioning, it would have been perfectly acceptable for me to butt in and reply, "Obviously not, she's Moroccan - aren't they all Jews?"

Oct. 26th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

This time.

Now an employee of Bell Mobility.  Good pay, insurance benefits, free cellphone usage.

Yep.

It's just like selling out.

Oct. 8th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

Most of the time.

So much for "propelling".

Jul. 7th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

Sometimes.

After much chaos and deliberation, I have decided to decide.  To propel myself.  Because I mean, really ... this stagnation can't go on.  It is a mortal threat to my fantastic, free-thinking mind. 

Feb. 27th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

I've decided to only write here when I am really fucking angry

And incidentally, I am absolutely, unquestionably, really fucking angry like ... now.  Because EVERYTHING always goes WRONG at the VERY SAME TIME.

My car is BROKEN and it will cost $200 to FIX IT and as though that's not enough to grind my fucking gears, it broke down when I absolutely needed it the most in order to MAKE COPIES FOR MY PORTFOLIO which I should have mailed, oh, uhm, let's see - THREE DAYS AGO and now I'm going to have to pay even MORE to send it RUSH so that it can make it to the goddamn school ON TIME.

Speaking of goddamn schools, York Universities fine arts department is NOT PICKING UP THEIR PHONE and I would like to know more about PORTFOLIO day that is happening on the 15 OF MARCH so that I can know if I have to TAKE TIME OFF OF WORK in order to MAKE IT THERE.  BUT NO.  BECAUSE NO ONE IS THERE TO ANSWER ... THE GODDAMN ... FUCKING ... TELEPHONE.

AND NEVER MIND that EBAY is a waste of TIME AND MONEY, NEVERMIND that I was sent a FAKE DS GAME and can NO LONGER LEAVE THE APPROPRIATE FEEDBACK to that sorry excuse of a FUCKING CHINK who SENT THIS GARBAGE TO ME because THE COCKMONGER deleted the FUCKING LISTING.  NO, JUST ... NEVER MIND!  OH, and a RARE and FUN game called Mystical Ninja Goemon that I was SO FUCKING HAPPY TO FIND AT WORK ... IS DEFECTIVE and so the LITTLE LUCK this week has brought me HAS JUST COMMITTED MUTINY and left me on a SINKING DEATH TRAP that is my LIFE.

UNIVERSITY is a goddamn WASTE OF LIFE unless you're majoring in BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION for NOTHING AT ALL but to find a MATE within your class colleagues in order to MARRY and work at the AIRPORT until you get PREGNANT and become a STAY-AT-HOME MOTHER who asks FOOD COURT EMPLOYEES at FAIRVIEW MALL to REHEAT THEIR FUCKING BABY FOOD.

OH, and the OTHER DAY - A BITCH JUST WALTZED RIGHT INTO THE PARKING SPOT THAT I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR ... FOR GODDAMN NEAR SEVEN MINUTES AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS.  THAT CUNT EVEN SMILED.  I'LL BET SHE HAS A MAJOR IN BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION, A LOOSE VAGINA and NO WORRIES.

Jan. 13th, 2008

I'm a Pepper

Palm-fricken-trees

So, after the two most hideous flights of all my short life, I have finally made it to - as the title suggets - palm-fricken-trees.  Snow banks be gone.  Hurrah.

I took off from Montreal on saturday afternoon and soared over to Chicago.  That was good times.  Despite the engine noise, I still had the pleasure of experiencing an infant in a cycle of tears.  For the whole hour and forty-five minutes.  Stayed overnight in Chicago (you Americans really enjoy your football, don't you?) and was off this morning once more for four terrifying hours of ... more engine noise?

Either way, I am now sitting comfortably in my grand-parents'  home, looking out the window to a beautifully decorated courtyard.  There's actually a replica of Michelangelo's David.  Crazy.

I am enjoying myself immensely. 

Dec. 6th, 2007

I'm a Pepper

The cycle of life ... it moves us all ...

Every single time I climb the path leading to the first parking lot, I see that same squirrel perched on the rim of that same garbage can trying to ingest some kind of wrapper or juice box.

It's a fat squirrel.

I like it a lot.

Nov. 21st, 2007

Brought to you by Redbull. Lots of fucking Redbull.

Integrating Seminar, I.S., incentive (for) suicide
So lately, my life has been scheduled for me in the most unceremonious of ways.  In fact, I am only taking time to type this now as I have skipped Media Studies in an attempt to protest my academic drowning.  I'm sure it will only worsen my case.  For the past three weeks I have been breathing, eating and defecating my integrating activity (that which is a film composed of photographs).  I'm super tired and super stressed and I can't wait for exhibition because that will be the final stepping stone of this nightmare.

Off to Mexico they go
My grandparents are leaving for three months on a road trip to Mexico.  Their departure is this Friday at 1 PM and I intend to put everything on hold to go and wish them a good trip.  I'm probably going to cry.

Kemptville is far
I have to go pick Caitlin up from Ontario on Friday.  Incidentally, I work until 10 PM which means two hours to get there, two hours to come back ... I should be home at 2 AM.  Sweet.  Either way, she's coming down to help with my I.S. - voice over work:  she's the narrator.

Not again
I think I'm getting another cold.

It's winter
Well, I knew it would come eventually but ... ugh.  First snowfall was yesterday and it all melted before the day was done.  Unfortunately it snowed again today and some patches of that stayed.  At least my winter tires are on and that's well and out of the way.

Vacation
Part of my can't wait for the Christmas holidays.  The other part of me knows it just means more work, more bitchy customers, crowded malls and the dramatic rush to get everyone a little something for the holidays.  Furthermore, my grandparents won't even be here.  What's the point?

Oct. 7th, 2007

Echo Screen - sharkcowsheep

I aspire and therefore I am

So, I think I'll be alright.

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